Tag Archives: happiness

So, what do you do for a living?

       Has anyone ever asked you this question before?
“So, what do you do for a living?” is the kind of question that really only serves one purpose: to make you aware of the fact that someone is about to judge you based on their own expectations.
       There exists this illness, or delusion, that our society suffers from, that says a person’s worth is solely decided by what they are doing or have accomplished in their life. A person is not seen as “good enough” or “acceptable” or even “validated” if the sum worth of their accomplishments does not meet this strange and arbitrary level of doingness that usually equates to a nebulous concept of “contributing to society” or some such fanciful spin.
       But this idea that a person has to measure up to someone’s expectations is absurdly false. Nobody on the face of this planet has to live up to anyone else’s expectations or ideas of how a person should or shouldn’t be. It is not a requirement for life on this Earth. By insisting that someone needs to meet your expectations of them before they earn your approval, you are simply trying to control that person and shape them into your own narrow view of the world, ceasing to allow them to be the individual they are.
The fact of the matter is, every single life on this planet needs nothing more than to exist, in order to be “worthy” of existence.  There are no requirements, no paradigms to fit into, no minimum contributions to fulfill in order to be granted justification on living, for there is nothing that needs justifying to begin with.
       So the next time somebody asks you “What do you do for a living?” just be calm in knowing that they are a person who does not yet understand that there is no need for judgment or expectations of others.
       Reply to them simply, without feeling as though you are inadequate in any way, because that is what their judgmental attitude will attempt to push on you, but do not doubt yourself or waver from the knowledge that no matter what someone else says or thinks, it does not diminish the beauty of who you are, and you do not need to prove yourself to anyone for any reason.
The next time somebody asks me what I do for a living, I am going to say to them: “I breathe.”
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
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Focus Your Thoughts Toward Desirable Change

Sometimes it’s something as important as a significant change in your life’s direction or overall circumstance. Other times it’s as simple as wishing the day’s temperature or weather were different.

No matter the scope or breadth of desire, it’s up to you to think it into being.

Henry Ford was once quoted as saying: “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” and this quote alludes to the power of positive thinking that lies within all of us.

Our minds are a tool to help shape the world around us, and we do this through the filter we call our thoughts.

If our thoughts are bleak, driven by fear and disharmony, selfishness or greed, without regard for ourselves, others, or the world around us, then the circumstances we face within our life will represent this. The world will seem dim, cruel, unfair, and we will suffer and suffocate within a miasma of our own misconceptions and delusions.

If, on the other hand, we try our best to keep thoughts of goodness, positivity, gratitude, compassion, and happiness in our minds, then our world will better reflect these ideas, even when a challenging circumstance comes into our path.

It takes all of us, collectively directing our thoughts and working together in harmony, for positive changes to come about on a larger scale. Instead of convincing yourself that a situation is hopeless beyond redemption or improvement, try to imagine the ways you wish your circumstance could be better. Imagine changes that would make you happy, and just keep thinking about those ideals.

Search for things, not to be upset about in a situation, but rather thankful for. Let your glass not be half full nor half empty, but rather imagine it overflowing. Even if your situation today doesn’t end up working out like you originally had envisioned, don’t get too caught up in the destination that you forget to appreciate the journey. Keep positive thoughts at the forefront, and they will change your tomorrows for the better.

 

Spend time with those you love

Spend time with someone you love today. Appreciate the time you get with them, even if they might feel differently than you do. See a family member that you haven’t in awhile. If you’re in a relationship and plan to spend time with your partner(s), make sure you are mindful of the time you spend together and be grateful for the fact it happens.

Tell the people you can that you love them. If they aren’t comfortable with hearing those words from you, then express yourself in ways that are loving without making your loved one feel uncomfortable. Practice kindness, consideration, patience, openness, and gentleness in your interactions with them. Those are all just different expressions of loving intent.

Even if they don’t reciprocate your feelings or things don’t work out as you might have planned for your time together, don’t worry about the details. Carry thoughts of love for the person anyway, and be grateful that you got to connect and spend time together.

 

Photo by Crew on Unsplash

Make Time for You

Do you like stress? Do you enjoy having that co-worker or your boss giving you grief, that deadline that looms closer and closer while your progress slips further and further behind schedule? That last minute all-nighter you had to pull to make things work out “on time”? What about all that house work that was waiting for you when you got home after your 10 hour shift?

Yeah I didn’t think so.

So why do you keep making excuses over and over, reasons, even justifications, for putting yourself back into these stressful situations time and time again? Have you convinced yourself “you can’t help it” and there is no other way to live your life? Why do you continue to put your own personal needs aside as if they were somehow less important or valid? Do you believe your own happiness is somehow irrelevant compared to that of others?

Stress is a huge detrimental factor to our personal health and well-being. You don’t need to be a doctor or a scientist to observe the ill effects that stress has on a person’s mood, behavior, energy levels, and personal happiness just to name a few.

Instead of continuing to find reasons why you have to immerse yourself in these stressful situations, find reasons to say no to stress and the situations that cause it.

My challenge to you today is to do something that goes beyond the conventional, something that people might think you are “crazy” for doing.

Make time for yourself. Prioritize your own needs, even when that means telling people “no” that expect to hear nothing but “yes” all the time. You can do this. You need to love yourself and treat yourself with respect, and that includes having more downtime for yourself than society wants you to believe is “acceptable”.

And I don’t just mean every once in awhile, we’re talking regularly here. Routinely. Get yourself some relaxation today and every day you are able to.

Get out from under those fluorescent lights at the office and get some actual sunshine. Take a walk with your dog at the park, or sit on a blanket and read a book. Do something that takes you away from the norms that are nothing but stress day after day and create new norms for yourself that are full of quietude and relaxation.

Do whatever those things are that bring you joy in your life, and do them more often, without feeling guilty about it. You do not have to justify yourself. Take more time to nurture your own soul by doing more of what helps you relax and makes you feel happy.

 

Love or Fear? You Decide

Today, let’s decide whether or not we will be acting out of love or fear. Your thoughts and your actions will be based in one of these two emotions at their core. Which one would you rather be today?

You could walk by that discarded litter that just missed the nearby waste bin during your commute to work, or you could decide to pick it up and put it where it should have gone.

You could decide to wish people you meet a good day and give them a smile, or you could be irritable with them and share only the negative energy of your daily frustrations.

You could honk your horn and yell at the person driving too closely behind you and cutting you off in traffic, or you could simply pull over and let them go by if they are in such a hurry.

You could wear your masks and speak those “socially polite” lies in your interactions with other people, or you can be perfectly honest about your feelings instead without worrying about what people think.

These and a million other possibilities are open for your examination. It’s up to you how you decide to express yourself, and whether you wish to come from a place of love or of fear when you conduct yourself.

Today I Am Thankful For…

Today, I am thankful for all the people in my life, be they friends or family or passers-by, who accept me for who I am. The people who are just content to let me be me, instead of trying to control me, or bind me within their own expectations, ideals, or worldviews. Even when I act in ways that seem strange or run counter to their sensibilities, they do not condemn me for it.

For this, they have my gratitude and my promise to endeavor to return this same gesture towards them, even when I make mistakes now and again.

What are you thankful for today?

Be Compassionate Today

It’s easy to find things in our day to day lives that we don’t like. Things that are irritating. Things that are scary, and things that bother us sometimes for reasons unknown.

It’s equally easy to get caught up in those feelings of frustration or despair when the events seem to come charging at you in droves.

But let’s just set all those aside for a moment. Yes there will be absurdities that come along. It’s okay to give them their proper consideration too. Try not to get drug along by their negativity though.

When the day gets overwhelming and the frustrations are mounting, take a breather in a quiet place and start thinking about the people in and aspects of your life you are thankful for. Remind yourself that you have a lot to be appreciative of, and that it’s really not as bad as all the drama would like you to believe.

Maybe not everything is going your way today, but on the other side of the same coin, not everything is not going your way either. You may feel like the world is against you, but if you stop focusing on the negativity and think about what you do have, what you are blessed with, you can create a greater sense of peace of mind for yourself.

And if you really aren’t seeing anything in yourself then try exercising compassion towards another. Do nice things for other people, for no reason at all. Not because you were asked to, but just out of the kindness of your heart. Your compassionate gestures will help make another person’s day better and your mood will improve right along with it.