Tag Archives: love

Spend time with those you love

Spend time with someone you love today. Appreciate the time you get with them, even if they might feel differently than you do. See a family member that you haven’t in awhile. If you’re in a relationship and plan to spend time with your partner(s), make sure you are mindful of the time you spend together and be grateful for the fact it happens.

Tell the people you can that you love them. If they aren’t comfortable with hearing those words from you, then express yourself in ways that are loving without making your loved one feel uncomfortable. Practice kindness, consideration, patience, openness, and gentleness in your interactions with them. Those are all just different expressions of loving intent.

Even if they don’t reciprocate your feelings or things don’t work out as you might have planned for your time together, don’t worry about the details. Carry thoughts of love for the person anyway, and be grateful that you got to connect and spend time together.

 

Photo by Crew on Unsplash
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All Actions Stem From Our Emotions

Try this: take a look back at your day today, and examine the actions you took, the decisions you made, and the phrases you spoke. Every one of these things had a driving emotion behind them.

Now consider for a moment what your driving emotion for each of your actions might have been. This may be hard to believe, but if you really narrow it down, there are essentially only 2 possibilities: love, or fear. Every emotion that we have as human beings can be attributed to one of these two basic fundamental feelings at their cores.

Take a look at the things you did and said today. Did you get upset with anyone? Frustrated? Were you feeling gloomy? Did you have a great day? Is there something you said that you felt guilty about? What about proud or happy?

Just take a minute to think about it. The more aware, the more conscious we become of how we are feeling when we say or do a thing, the more likely we will be able to improve our interactions with people by being honest. It’s hard to know the nature of a thing if you are not putting in the effort to examine it, even if that thing is something as “familiar” as your own inner thoughts and feelings.

See which things today that you did or said out of fear. Then for tomorrow, think about how you can do or say those same things out of love instead. It doesn’t have to be difficult. This can be as simple as having an honest and open conversation when you normally would have held something back. You might be surprised how good it feels.

For example, this morning, I interrupted someone during our conversation, and rather than listening to what they were about to suggest to me, I offered my own thoughts in place of theirs without hearing them out. As the day wore on, I reflected on this behavior. I realized that while my sharing of my idea was a good thing, it should not have come at the expense of the other person’s, and I should have instead listened first and then offered my view.

To make up for this, I apologized to the person for “cutting them off” earlier, and then asked them what it was they had intended to say, and so they were able to tell me what they had in mind, which is how it should have been the first time around, had I not been in such a rush.

What examples can you find in your own behavior that might have been made out of a fearful emotion? Your intuition will tell you when you have done or said something that doesn’t “sit right” with you. The important thing is to be aware when that happens, and then if you can, remake the choice again out of love instead of fear.

Re-sensitize to Violence

I don’t know when it started. The 80’s? 90’s? The early 2000’s? Maybe it’s always been around and I have just lived oblivious during my earlier years. It seems to me more and more people today are desensitized to violence. It makes me sad thinking about it.

Going far beyond simply being desensitized to violence, our culture seems to propagate it.

Let me illustrate a personal example:
A year or so ago I was once in a meeting room with a group of about 15 or 20 people, and during a quick break in our meeting, someone asked the organizer to pull up a random video on YouTube for all of us to watch, a common request for such meetings. The one that was chosen was a recording from somebody’s dash cam on their car, and it showed someone getting dragged out of their car and physically beaten for some minor traffic related transgression while driving.

Do you know what happened in that room? People laughed at that video. Not everyone in the room, but a majority of them saw another human’s pain and abuse as something entertaining.

Personally this experience was an eye opening one for me. I was shocked and appalled that not only was this deemed perfectly normal by the majority present, but that it was enjoyed, encouraged! And no, it wasn’t simply that the group was laughing out of awkwardness or embarrassment either, though I wish that would have been the case. It would have made the reality of it a lot easier to swallow for me.

And I know that this is not an isolated case either. Take a look at social media, or YouTube, or any other popular collaboration medium today. Take a look at the “news” as we jokingly call it. What videos are popular? What stuff goes “viral” online? Really stop and examine it. What do you see? Do you, like me, see an alarming majority of violence, aggression, pain, fear, and any number of other negative feelings and situations being “popular” or “trending”?

Why is this? Why are we as a culture, as a society, as a race and a species, celebrating and elevating fear and pain and hurting of others?

By putting these things up on a pedestal, giving them our energy and attention, at best it is passing on feelings of shock, fear, and pain to others. At worst, empathy is so lacking that we seem to seek out these scenarios for our own satisfaction, entertainment, and even pleasure.

It is as if the hurting of others actually brings us joy.

Is this what we have become? Are we proud of this behavior? Are we okay with our daily “news” being nothing but shocking and negative events going on around the world at any given moment while the real news and breakthroughs and positive things pass by unnoticed?

Are we okay with knowing the names of mass murderers and the daily death tolls, and yet the names of the medical scientists that just found a cure for a particular disease will never see the light of day?

Are we satisfied with the fact that we couldn’t tell you the names of the inventors who brought us the camera, the television, the internet, or the cell phone, and yet we can tell you all about the horrific shootings or the aftermath of a natural disaster, or “that one video where the guy breaks his arm and his friend laughs at him”?

Because I for one am not okay with this.

I think we as a people need to learn to re-sensitize ourselves to violence and pain. Learn once again how to be empathetic to another human being’s plight. Understand what it means to be hurt, what it feels like to be sad, and then never again wish those feelings towards any other person or make light of them when another person is experiencing such events.

We need to think, and we need to feel. To empathize with other humans is of a vital importance to the integrity of our species.

We need to no longer be satisfied with thoughtlessness. We need to revel in acts of kindness, empathy, giving, selflessness, compassion, and love. These are the things we should be propagating and elevating and celebrating as one whole connected species living together on this planet.

The more we are able to empathize with others, to propagate positivity instead of negativity, the more we will be able to lift one another up and elevate ourselves. The more we elevate ourselves, the less violence, suffering, upheaval and pain will take place on this Earth, and the better off all of our lives will be for it.

But to do that, we have to first wake up, to think, and to remember how to care for another’s plight.