Tag Archives: thoughts

Unpopular Opinion #5

Take the over half-a-trillion dollars the U.S. spends every year on its military budget, weapons R&D budgets, any major funding that is tied to war efforts, “defense”, fighting, etc. and instead use that money towards providing EVERYONE in the country (regardless of their financial standing) with free basic living necessities like food, water, electricity, shelter, medical expenses, and other quality of life implements.
 
Should the cost exceed the 500+ billion dollar yearly expenditures from said budget (it probably would for the first few years at least, covering initial startup costs such as building housing, etc.), hit up the collective 1% , or even the top 5-10%, wealthiest in the country to help foot the rest of the bill.
All those who contribute financially from their own funds, get their names published globally with recognition of their contribution amounts, and we make these contributors into our new celebrities in society.
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So, what do you do for a living?

       Has anyone ever asked you this question before?
“So, what do you do for a living?” is the kind of question that really only serves one purpose: to make you aware of the fact that someone is about to judge you based on their own expectations.
       There exists this illness, or delusion, that our society suffers from, that says a person’s worth is solely decided by what they are doing or have accomplished in their life. A person is not seen as “good enough” or “acceptable” or even “validated” if the sum worth of their accomplishments does not meet this strange and arbitrary level of doingness that usually equates to a nebulous concept of “contributing to society” or some such fanciful spin.
       But this idea that a person has to measure up to someone’s expectations is absurdly false. Nobody on the face of this planet has to live up to anyone else’s expectations or ideas of how a person should or shouldn’t be. It is not a requirement for life on this Earth. By insisting that someone needs to meet your expectations of them before they earn your approval, you are simply trying to control that person and shape them into your own narrow view of the world, ceasing to allow them to be the individual they are.
The fact of the matter is, every single life on this planet needs nothing more than to exist, in order to be “worthy” of existence.  There are no requirements, no paradigms to fit into, no minimum contributions to fulfill in order to be granted justification on living, for there is nothing that needs justifying to begin with.
       So the next time somebody asks you “What do you do for a living?” just be calm in knowing that they are a person who does not yet understand that there is no need for judgment or expectations of others.
       Reply to them simply, without feeling as though you are inadequate in any way, because that is what their judgmental attitude will attempt to push on you, but do not doubt yourself or waver from the knowledge that no matter what someone else says or thinks, it does not diminish the beauty of who you are, and you do not need to prove yourself to anyone for any reason.
The next time somebody asks me what I do for a living, I am going to say to them: “I breathe.”
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Life’s Little Changing Choices

       Recently I had two days of very contrasting states of mind. It reminded me of a concept I am trying to learn and better about myself regarding my attitudes and judgments towards other people. More specifically, the goal is to not be judgmental at all, or when I do catch myself having such thoughts and feelings, discarding them quickly rather than holding fast to their negativity.
       On the first day I had woken up much earlier than usual, feeling a bit unwell. Just the drastic change in my sleep cycle alone would have been enough but on top of that, not feeling well put me in a strange mood. I was productive at unusual hours of the morning, and decided eventually that I had become tired enough to try to get some more sleep. This I did, but was startled awake a few hours later by a loud noise from the neighbors doing some work outdoors with tools.
       Having felt a bit better after this extra bit of sleep, despite the startling second awakening, I figured the rest of the day was going to go without much incident now that I had gotten enough hours of sleep.
       Instead, it ended up that I had an argument with a friend, that I had been saying judgmental thoughts in regard to their situation, and in general just being oblivious to how I was making them feel until they finally had to say something about it to me.
       We patched things up pretty easily with clear communication of each others feelings and where I had made my mistake, but even after that had smoothed over, I was still feeling a bit out of sorts. That slightly ill feeling from earlier had returned after the brief argument, and in general I could tell that my mood was still not right. I had felt the backlash of the stress that I was causing my friend, and at the same time I felt the guilt that is carried along with realizing one has been unwittingly repeating a mistake that results in contrasting feelings compared to one’s intentions.
       My solution to this dilemma was to simply distance myself a bit. I knew I felt out of sorts, and it might have been for a variety of reasons, perhaps even unrelated to my weird sleep schedule that day, but I knew from experience that if I didn’t take a step back and have a little time to myself, that I was going to be in a wrong mood for any kind of interactions.
       So here I made a choice to just withdraw myself a bit and busy myself with things that did not include social interaction.
       Everyone has days like this where maybe they make mistakes, or say something they don’t really mean, or even take out their frustrations on innocent passers-by when they don’t even have anything to do with what’s eating away at you. I used to really be incredibly critical of myself after the fact for days like this. As I begin to understand a little better that life is indeed going to have times of both what we perceive to be positives and negatives, I also begin to understand that fixating on the “bad things” only keeps them around longer.
       For me, I have found that it is much better to simply address the negative moods and feelings as they come up, have honest and clear communication regarding them, including how I am feeling and what I was or was not understanding or realizing, and then simply letting that settle the issue, moving on to the next thing.
       Fast forward a bit to today, and I find myself coming from a much better place mentally than the other day. I am not short with people, I am not stuck in only a single-minded judgmental viewpoint, and I am endeavoring to keep the small things small, rather than make them out to be bigger things than they are. In other words I am acting and thinking much more in line with my behavioral ideals that I see in myself.
       Could it be because I got better sleep? Because I felt well instead of slightly ill? Those might have had something to do with it, but the important thing for me to grasp was that I was choosing better choices. Choosing to carry better thoughts about a situation. Choosing to be accepting of differences and to not turn a small thing into a big thing in my imagination. Choosing to be more flexible in my thought of a thing rather than rigid and insistent on my way being the only way.
       Every day we find ourselves with these kinds of little choices in life. Some days we may have a harder time making the more compassionate and kind choices because maybe we’re not feeling that great, as was the case for me the prior day. I was not feeling well and that discord manifested itself through my thoughts, words, and actions.
       When we come from a place in our hearts and minds that is more inline with the ideal way we see ourselves however, it’s easy to look at those same choices and choose something higher than what we would have gone with during the times of upset and ill ease.
       It is in being able to gracefully handle the days when we are feeling low that we must endeavor, and humbly approach the days when we are feeling well, that we may acknowledge the ways of others as equally valid choices for how to live our collective lives on this planet, and try our best not to judge someone just because they do things differently than we have been introduced or grown accustomed to in our own experience.
       Photo by Denise Chan on Unsplash

Give your mind a chance to focus

Our lives are oftentimes too busy. There’s too much going on at any given point to process it all, and many of us forget how to take the time to actually experience the moment and appreciate it.

Let’s use a hypothetical example:

Say you sit down to enjoy a movie while you eat lunch. 20 minutes into the movie you get a text message from a friend on your cell phone, with a link to a funny social media post. So you reply to them and check out the link, and maybe you spend a few more minutes browsing on your phone when your washing machine buzzer goes off, telling you it’s time to switch out that load of laundry you were doing. 10 minutes later with the new dryer load started you realize you forgot to thaw that frozen casserole you made last weekend for tonight’s dinner, and you wonder what you’re going to have to go with it. Then halfway through your preparation of the side dish for the meal that will be hours from now, the doorbell rings for a package you have been waiting for. You go get it and excitedly open it up as you have been eagerly awaiting your new blender so you can make all sorts of drinks. It’ll be perfect for that friendly get together that you’re having next weekend….

…what’s happening right now in the movie? What about your lunch?

Now I know, the common arguments against my example here would be things like “That’s just how life works!” or “My mind works better when I’m multi-tasking!” or perhaps even “There’s nothing I can do about that! Those things need to be done!” and to some extent I agree, those thoughts may ring true in certain situations.

However, just take a moment to think about how many directions your mind has to be in during situations like this. You’re essentially focusing on everything aside from the present moment. Does it make you feel at peace when you are juggling a half dozen things at any given point in your head? Does it truly serve you to be worried about Thursday’s dinner preparations when you haven’t even had Monday’s breakfast?

Just because something can be done, doesn’t necessarily make it a good idea to do it. Just because you can juggle a million things in your head and usually organize the chaos, doesn’t mean you should have to experience chaos in the first place.

Granted, life doesn’t always go the way we wish, and there are times when we must react quickly to a change in situation, but we tend to over emphasize and exaggerate the frequency of those situations where we need to react quickly. We take small events that do not need immediate response and put them on the same level as things that need to be done without delay, and the result can be a tremendous amount of stress in our lives for really no good reason. Not only that, but your mind loses track of the present moment, and you end up being unable to appreciate it.

In the example scenario I gave, that text message didn’t need to be replied to immediately once you noticed it wasn’t urgent. That would have saved you the bulk of that distraction. The laundry could have easily waited until at least after you finished lunch, if not the movie. Likewise for the dinner preparations. The package at the door, that’s one that probably would be best to take care of sooner rather than later, but save the opening of it for later on, you’re not making those drinks right now.

The more distractions and busyness you can set aside, the better you’ll be able to enjoy that lunch and movie. Better yet, maybe next time you’ll just enjoy the lunch or the movie by itself, without doubling up activities, allowing you to take in the present moment fully engaged in simply one particular activity.

It may take some practice, training your thoughts away from the chaos and the need to control the results of outcomes and events, but the more you can simply be present in the current moment, rather than losing your mind in the future or the past, the more at peace you will feel, and you’ll be able to truly appreciate even the little things of the here and now.

Focus Your Thoughts Toward Desirable Change

Sometimes it’s something as important as a significant change in your life’s direction or overall circumstance. Other times it’s as simple as wishing the day’s temperature or weather were different.

No matter the scope or breadth of desire, it’s up to you to think it into being.

Henry Ford was once quoted as saying: “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” and this quote alludes to the power of positive thinking that lies within all of us.

Our minds are a tool to help shape the world around us, and we do this through the filter we call our thoughts.

If our thoughts are bleak, driven by fear and disharmony, selfishness or greed, without regard for ourselves, others, or the world around us, then the circumstances we face within our life will represent this. The world will seem dim, cruel, unfair, and we will suffer and suffocate within a miasma of our own misconceptions and delusions.

If, on the other hand, we try our best to keep thoughts of goodness, positivity, gratitude, compassion, and happiness in our minds, then our world will better reflect these ideas, even when a challenging circumstance comes into our path.

It takes all of us, collectively directing our thoughts and working together in harmony, for positive changes to come about on a larger scale. Instead of convincing yourself that a situation is hopeless beyond redemption or improvement, try to imagine the ways you wish your circumstance could be better. Imagine changes that would make you happy, and just keep thinking about those ideals.

Search for things, not to be upset about in a situation, but rather thankful for. Let your glass not be half full nor half empty, but rather imagine it overflowing. Even if your situation today doesn’t end up working out like you originally had envisioned, don’t get too caught up in the destination that you forget to appreciate the journey. Keep positive thoughts at the forefront, and they will change your tomorrows for the better.

 

ThoughtsnLifeBlog’s Post on Affirmations

Affirmation -I am Strong, Humble and Peaceful I am strong and humble. I am confident and wise. I am assertive and humble. I know to listen to my voice and others, but, I also know when anothers thoughts aren’t in line with what I wish to represent. I am calm, confident, peaceful and whole. I […]

via Affirmation -I Am Strong, Humble and Peaceful — ThoughtsnLifeBlog